Explosions on a Page

So here I am..of course with a billion things to do that my head is about to explode...but writing always makes me feel better so here I am, piling all my baggage on my blog. :)

Interesting thought*:: When you walk along a sidewalk..or in a hallway...and there's that person you've never seen before in your life, but they just look up, look straight into your face and you feel like you've known them forever. They smile and say hi. You say hi back..and you just have this connection. And the real catcher is? You probably will never see them again, or sit down with them and have a little chat about the weather. It blows my mind when this happens.

I have a professor and her name is Virginia Stitt. Though she is...quite older, I look at her and see a 20 year old woman who still acts like she's sitting in the 2nd grade. I love when she blows on the marker to get it to work. :) I love it when she addresses talking to yourself as, "Self, now let's have a chat..". I love that she is an dedicated musician and is still teaching because she just adores it so much.

Last night I sat at a Taco Bell and listened in on a very interesting conversation. The buddies that I was with, being the funny boys they are, began to talk about a professor of the university that often gets made fun of. Now I love those boys, but here's the thing. I have this professor. Ya, she's quirky, but I adore what she teaches me. One of the boys said, "I just sit in the back of the class and laugh. Is she being serious?". Then I sat and really thought about this. First, I hate judging parties. I will CRASH that party, man. Second, it's your own fault if you sit in the back and laugh and don't like the class. YOU make the choice to listen and find the good in what is being placed before you. (Good seems to be an occuring theme for me these last few weeks). Sometimes you just have to weed out the little things that bother you because guess what? People are going to bother you. But think about if you let those weeds of botherism get in the way....get in the way of seeing a beautiful person. I really wish the judging would just stop. Because she worked SO HARD to get where she is right now and I appreciate how much time and effort she puts into my lessons. I love her as a teacher.Thank you.

I really miss home a lot. I miss being able to get a cup anytime and fill it up with milk...or being able to open a can of peaches without thinking..." I feel so closed off in this dorm space. I'm gonna have to take it out of the bin, find my can opener, oh ya and I have to wash the dish after...". I can't believe how much I miss the easiness that comes with living in an open space. It's so refreshing.

I almost cried in my voice lesson this week. Why? Because my personal life weaknesses are getting involved. Simple things like, "I'm just scared", or "I think they're going to judge me" came up and I was so upset with myself for letting my weaknesses come out. However, I realized that as hard as it is to pop that "weakness zit" :), doesn't it feel better after wards? Then you're on the way to a full recovery of new skin. That I'm finding a recovery to the weaknesses I have in singing. I'm on my way to a better, grown musician.

Don't old habits really bug? I was so great at not procrastinating when I got to college, and now here I am, procrastinating again like old school high school. Bah humbug.

Dear World:
Thanks for listening. I really just needed to blow some little bits of steam. :)

Love always,
Little Besty

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