Explosions on a Page

So here I am..of course with a billion things to do that my head is about to explode...but writing always makes me feel better so here I am, piling all my baggage on my blog. :)

Interesting thought*:: When you walk along a sidewalk..or in a hallway...and there's that person you've never seen before in your life, but they just look up, look straight into your face and you feel like you've known them forever. They smile and say hi. You say hi back..and you just have this connection. And the real catcher is? You probably will never see them again, or sit down with them and have a little chat about the weather. It blows my mind when this happens.

I have a professor and her name is Virginia Stitt. Though she is...quite older, I look at her and see a 20 year old woman who still acts like she's sitting in the 2nd grade. I love when she blows on the marker to get it to work. :) I love it when she addresses talking to yourself as, "Self, now let's have a chat..". I love that she is an dedicated musician and is still teaching because she just adores it so much.

Last night I sat at a Taco Bell and listened in on a very interesting conversation. The buddies that I was with, being the funny boys they are, began to talk about a professor of the university that often gets made fun of. Now I love those boys, but here's the thing. I have this professor. Ya, she's quirky, but I adore what she teaches me. One of the boys said, "I just sit in the back of the class and laugh. Is she being serious?". Then I sat and really thought about this. First, I hate judging parties. I will CRASH that party, man. Second, it's your own fault if you sit in the back and laugh and don't like the class. YOU make the choice to listen and find the good in what is being placed before you. (Good seems to be an occuring theme for me these last few weeks). Sometimes you just have to weed out the little things that bother you because guess what? People are going to bother you. But think about if you let those weeds of botherism get in the way....get in the way of seeing a beautiful person. I really wish the judging would just stop. Because she worked SO HARD to get where she is right now and I appreciate how much time and effort she puts into my lessons. I love her as a teacher.Thank you.

I really miss home a lot. I miss being able to get a cup anytime and fill it up with milk...or being able to open a can of peaches without thinking..." I feel so closed off in this dorm space. I'm gonna have to take it out of the bin, find my can opener, oh ya and I have to wash the dish after...". I can't believe how much I miss the easiness that comes with living in an open space. It's so refreshing.

I almost cried in my voice lesson this week. Why? Because my personal life weaknesses are getting involved. Simple things like, "I'm just scared", or "I think they're going to judge me" came up and I was so upset with myself for letting my weaknesses come out. However, I realized that as hard as it is to pop that "weakness zit" :), doesn't it feel better after wards? Then you're on the way to a full recovery of new skin. That I'm finding a recovery to the weaknesses I have in singing. I'm on my way to a better, grown musician.

Don't old habits really bug? I was so great at not procrastinating when I got to college, and now here I am, procrastinating again like old school high school. Bah humbug.

Dear World:
Thanks for listening. I really just needed to blow some little bits of steam. :)

Love always,
Little Besty


I'm in love with a wizard named Howl*

It's totally fine that I wish my name was Sophie and that I had a curse that caused me to be an old woman till I was totally self-confident-and that my hair stayed forever gray like star-light.

Ya, it's perfectly normal

It's normal that I'm perfectly okay with giving my heart to a wizard that supposedly "eats hearts of young ladies" when they fall in love with him. {Though it just ain't true).

I think it's a problem that I wish I was the girl in this picture::

And it also is totally peachy that when I watch "Howl's Moving Castle", my heart leaps like a butterfly on steroids every time that Howl comes home after a battle. That I laugh when he comes running down the stairs, upset that his hair is dyed and that he can't go on living if he "isn't beautiful". It's cool that I want to walk in the fields of his special hide-a-way with the flowers he helped grow.

Don't be surprised if I come walking out of my dorm room tomorrow in a blue dress with gray hair and a braid with pink ribbons in it.

Ya, it's completely and wonderfully fine that I'm in love with a wizard named Howl. ;)

Howl's Moving Castle

See it.

Hayao Miyazaki? You are a genius.

Love always,
Little Besty


buckets of tylenol and MOMMYs*

Right. So for the first time, I missed class in college. And the reason?


I don't believe in missing class for fun in college. This was ingrained in my head as a stupid decision when my professor told me that you can miss class whenever, but remember that you are paying $20.00 for each class. Plus, I've been taught well and have a wise noggin' to know that you just need to go to class. And I love learning!

When I'm sick, I have a lot of time to think. I thought about how awesome my mom is. I call her this morning, saying I wanna die, and she gives me an hour by hour schedule on what I should do to ensure the best "being sick" day possible. Though I still felt like I was gonna throw-up at any given moment, I felt so much better knowing I was following my mom's advice. She's so wise....I love her.

My mom is amazing. She's beautiful. She's is simply phenomenal and I hope she knows I feel that way.
Reasons I love my mother....

*She holds me when I cry
*Every single night when I lived at home, she would sit and talk to me
*She has a sixth sense for me. I come home one night, and she already knows if I've had a good or bad night based souly on the feelings she had while I was gone....creepy...but AWESOME. ;)
*How many times did she massage my hands or comb my hair just because she wanted to?
*People tell me I look exactly like her...which I consider one of the best compliments ever because that means that someday I'll look like my GORGEOUS-beyond-all-reason mother! YES! Score!
*She sacrifices daily for her kids
*Even though her family life as a young woman was crazy, she got through it. She didn't only endure it, but she lived through it and learned so much from it
*She made each of us kids our own, individual lunches based on what we liked every single day for school
*When it comes to her strength to work, she's an ox. I've never met a stronger woman
*She has soft hands
*She lays by us when we're scared
*I love the way she sings
*She encourages me to be my best "ally" self
*She knows me better than anyone else (besides Heavenly Father)
*Mom is my best friend
*I like the way she smiles
*When she says "I'm proud of you", she really means it
*No matter what we've all done in our family, she still loves us
*She's a wonderful teacher
*Respect is something that everyone has for my mom
*When she teaches, it's like the spirit it talking directly to people
*She's faithful
*She gives WONDERFUL advice.
*My mom is so protective
*She loves my friends
*Her food is delectable beyond compare
*She does things for people without seeking for a "thank you"
*Her husband, kids, and family are her number one priority
*She has a knack for crafts
*I love her clothes that she wears. She looks so good in them!
*I love her laugh
*Her eyes twinkle because of the spirit she possesses
*She is so selfless
*She realizes that she's human, but picks herself up when she falls
*My mom spends so much time on her children. She's the extreme of the typical "soccer mom"
*I feel like I can tell her everything and anything, and I do
*I miss her the second I leave on a trip
*She smells good
*She sang to me as a kid
*She truly misses me when I'm away...
*She is a wonderful Daughter of our Heavenly Father
*This woman is super intelligent. I wonder where she got all her knowledge from
*She makes me feel safe
*I want to be just like her someday!

There are a bajillion more reasons why I love my mom. This is just the first 1/2998 of why I adore her.

I cry sometimes because I miss her so much. This is one of the main reasons why moving away was so hard. Because my mommy is far away!

I love you Mom. I'm so glad he gave me you. Thank you for taking care of me today, even though you were 3 hours away. ;) {P.S. I wrote this before you even called me tonight. :) } You're the GREATEST MOMMY EVER!!!

So, being sick is rough. I've consumed so much medicine and juice that I'm about to explode. But maybe when I go to bed early, just like my mommy directed, I'll feel better. Love you world! Thank goodness for MOMMYS!

Love Always,
Little Besty



You know what's so great?]


..and new friends. ;)

People are so good. They really are. I think we judge the world too often to be filled with the stereotype of lost, broken, and crazy individuals. Well, have you ever turned it around and seen all the good?

We obviously think of Ghandi, Mother Teresa, and other folk when a teacher asks us, "so who was influential to the world?". Sometimes a "my mom" or "my little brother" will pop in there and then at that moment our minds say, "oh ya...." and realization hits that HOLY COW. There are so many GOOD people in this world. What in the world was I thinking when I said that this world is just falling apart and there's no more goodness and we might as well just give up now? Ya. We're in turmoil. It kills me to see what other countries suffer. And also to see what hate can do to perfectly good people. But overall? YES. Good people exist.

This has been running through my mind lately because I've seen some serious goodness come out of the people I'm around everyday.

*Shari walking all the way back from St. Jude to Juniper and then back again just so I could eat dinner.
*Garrison spending his personal time to figure out how the heck to fix Shari's tire.
*My voice teacher, Dr. Johnson, quizzing me like none other to make sure that my brain is actually expanding and learning. I have to do tough stuff to progress!
*That one guy who opened my door?
*Cameron having the greatest smile and talking to me.
*Scott. Rubbin' that lamp Scott.
*Makenzie, a girl I barely know who's in the opera Suer Angelica with me comes up to me randomly and says, "Hey! You have a gorgeous voice and I don't even know you!"
*Miguel making the smallest effort to make my day by teasing me.
*Barrett's hugs. Even when I say I don't like them.
*A call from Mommy. "I believe any man has the right to call his mommy anytime and she can call him!" -Mario
*A wonderful, phenomenal letter from a missionary who is very busy, but still takes the time to write faithfully every single week.
*The hard effort of a mother and wife I know very well and admire greatly who has A LOT going on and could have broke down months ago.
*My sister's hours of time put into getting her sweet husband to America.
*Will's courage to do what's right.
*Sara's smile.
*Parker's AMAZING character
*Professor Modesitt's almonds. ;)
*Professor Virginia Stitt blowing on the dry erase marker to get it go work...
*"Self, what are you doing!"

There is good everywhere. You just have to be willing to put forth the effort. ;)

Love you world.

Love always,
Little Besty


Birthday Wishes to a Favorite...

Happy Birthday Benny-Boy

Once upon a time I had the greatest brother in the world...and his name is Benjamin Q. Best.

He was born on this blessed day, September 8th, twenty-one years ago. And what a twenty-one years it has been.

I sit here and listen to "Hey Jude" by our beloved Beatles, particularly the "Naaaa Na Na Na Na Na Naaaa"s and invision Ben::

*Sliding on the slippin' slide.
*Running down the shoreline in California.
*Goofing off for the camera.
*"Hi Daddy!"
*"Oh don't worry. Dad just fell down the stairs. He'll be fine."
*Painting his art.
*Smiling at a friend.
*Laughing....just laughing.
*Playing with Legos
*Putting Ninja Turtles in the Christmas tree.
*Wearing green.
*Playing his guitar/drums
*Making us all laugh.
*Eating chips in the basement
*Listening to music at the computer
*Taking the time to listen.
*His fascination with lizards and stuff.
*His hugs when I was little.
*His hugs now.
*Graduation day.
*Seeing how grown-up he has become.
*His attractiveness. :) {He's a Best! What can I say?}
*Loving everyone..and being so kind.
*Putting on a dress and holding a purse...a couple times. ;)
*His quirks
*His love for what he knows best.

Ya. My brother's gonna continue to change the world because he already has. One little step at a time to make a big difference....he is living proof that philosophies are actually relevant. My brother is one of those people that you look at when you're younger and say, "Wow. I don't know how they got to where they are, but they are pretty peachy and just..KNOW who they are and what's going for them". My brother is one of those people you want to be around because he makes you feel like you can be yourself, no matter what you've done or who you are. He doesn't judge. My brother is someone who is brave enough to think outside the box in order to see the bigger picture. I respect him highly because of that.

Dear Ben::
You are the greatest Big Brother a little girl could ask for. ;) I'm sure lucky to have you, forever! -Doctor

Happy Birthday Brother. I love you!!!

Love always,
Little Besty


Ride. Just Ride

So...let's just say I've had an interesting week {to put it lightly}

You know how people say, "Gee, this week I have had some serious ups and downs and have been on a roller coaster of emotion..". Ya, ya I can concur with that statement. Yes, Jill from University 1000, I am being assertive and saying, "From my experience, I know that I have had weeks that feel like I'm rolling up and down and want to cry and laugh my head off till my nose hurts-and lucky you, you just caught me living in that week."

I was looking through the social network of oh so precious FACEBOOK this morning and came upon something I really liked. The same statement above {about roller coasters and emotions of death} appeared in a status..but it ended with, "At least it ended with a high note". Did yours end up with a high note, Ally? Did it really?

I believe there is good in everything. All we have to do it find it.

So? Yes. Yes, my week did end on a high note. I was driving back to my sweet Cedar City on Monday with my two new music buddies and though I had been crying only hours before, I soon found myself belting out love songs with Hannah, and spontaneously stopping at a rest stop and laying on the hood of my aunt and uncle's camry to look at the miraculous blanket of stars and intricate puffyness :) of the Milky Way that my idaho princess next to me had never fully seen before. I said to myself.."Life is good. Sometimes, it's just rotten as an apple from 2nd grade that I've kept in my closet under the cobwebs. BUT-this life is so good. Oh so good."

In the moment of our trials we feel that there is no way that life can go on. "Ah gosh! That was my future! That job was going to support me for the rest of my life. I just HAD to go to that university. If I would have passed that test, I could have gotten into law-school. I can't have cancer, I'm so young! This never happens to people like me. Great, my house just flooded. How am I gonna pay for that? Great. It's raining on my new textbooks..I really wanted that trip to California...Dang. Gee! I loved him so much! Why does it have to be this way? They only gave me 4 chicken nuggets instead of 5...My parents are getting divorced, is it my fault? My phone fell in the toilet..I didn't get asked to prom...So my brother just died, what am I supposed to feel?"

Ya. It's rough. I admit it. I'm being perfectly honest with you. Giving up seems pretty awesome sometimes. But guess what? YOU CAN'T DO THAT. Not only are you a human, but you are breathing, living. My professor in University 1000, Jill, told me today that we CANNOT be passive anymore. If you are someone who says, "I don't care" a lot {I am guilty}, stop saying that! Have an opinion for heavens sake! {I'm preaching to myself right now by the way, just so you all know}. Be Assertive! You have a spirit, now use it! So, make the decision to not be unhappy during a trial. CHOOSE to be happy. You always have a choice. Who decides my attitude? My mom? My roommate? My brother? My bishop? My friend? My dog? Nope. Sorry girl. It's YOU. Snap! I don't like making decisions! Well guess what? You get to. Right now and everyday.

Ya. I had a week. But it was lived
This week I...
*Hugged my Monkey because I was lonely.
*Brought my Monkey out to my buddies and they all hugged it and played with it and we are all bringing stuffed animals to our dorms now if we didn't before!
*Ate somewhat healthy.
*Saw my "wife". Don't freak out, it's a inside joke. ;)
*Forgot about a homework assignment.
*Sang. A lot.
*Made a decision with someone that was super hard, but is the best, smart thing to do.
*Missed my family.
*Saw my family.
*Felt inadequate.
*Felt like "I can do this!"
*Loved my singles ward.
*Watched Knights Tale twice and cried both times.
* "Cried unto the Lord.."
*Drove a lot.
*Wished I could change a lot of things.
*Hurt feelings..
*Wanted to go to MO.
*Cried the hardest I have in a long, long time.
*Laughed so hard it hurt!

So, though the bad may sometimes out weight the good, happiness is always an option. It's always there. My roller coaster is still in service, and it requires a pretty pricey ticket, but it's worth the ride. All my love.

Love Always,
Little Besty