I got up extra early this morning
to thoughts of toothpaste,
my crackely feet,
comfy blankies
and a tad bit of anxiety.

Other than the latter,
they all seem to be fairly
normal for the early hours
of a new day.

Let us touch on the latter,
shall we?

True, I get anxiety
when I wake up
when I know a test
or performance is coming
that day.

Tis normal,
to say the least.

But, kids?
This squirming of my soul
was a tad bit different.
I took one look
at a little person
in a little picture frame
on my bed...
and my heart started fluttering.

Friends? Romans?
My pet fish I don't have?

I know you may all
be sick and tired of hearing
about my BFF saga,
but the truth of the matter is,
I need this little space of screen
and cyberspace to throw my
thoughts to and keep
poor Besty sane.

sorry if you hate me right now.

Maybe he'll read this someday.
Maybe he won't.
But let's pretend it doesn't matter,

Let's be honest.
The days are almost
to the teens.
I could watch
Cheaper By The Dozen
in relation to days left in
the near future...
till the days equal
driving home from
Cedar City,
knowing that in a miraculous
few hours,
my best friend will
walk into my presence.

Does anyone have
Cheaper By The Dozen?

what am I gonna do?

Thank heavens I'm going
to have women support in
the car ride home or else
I JUST might have a heart attack
and die...
which would be tragic seeing
that "chally re-united" {Ha. Cheesy?}
would have been hours away.

Thank heavens that
won't happen.

All I can say, kids?
There mere fact that I'll be able
to look at his name in my phone
and know that I can actually
call it
is already sending me over the edge.

In a very good way. ;)

I just thought of somethin'.
What if I'M the weird one?
He may be an R.M.,
which sometimes entails
certain oddness,
but what if I have a bad case
of (-)MG syndrome?

What if I act weird?

Ah, shoot.
It's gonna happen.
I just know it.
Just my luck.

Then again....
I think he's the only
person in the world
besides those in my family
that the insttant I walk into his
I feel utterly complete and safe.
I don't have a care in the world.
No obligation...
I'm just me.
I don't even try.
It's just so easy...

In conclusion,
hopefully this anxiety
will fade into a side effect,
and I can get back to thinking
about toothpaste,
crackely feet,
and comfy blankies.

Have a fantastic Wednesday!

Love always,
Little Besty


Dear Friends

*3,024,000 seconds
*50,400 minutes
*840 hours
*35 days
*5 weeks

Just thought I'd mention it.

Love always,
Little Besty

I Just Don't Know

I just cannot figure it out!

Every couple of days,
I see this kid.

And he always greets
me with the most enthusiastic
"we've been dear friends forever"
hello, to ever exist.

I certainly have no objection
to such a joyous event...
but can I be honest?

I have no idea how he knows me!

I've seen him around,
know he goes to school here,
know he's a pretty cool cat,
but I just don't understand...

Did we meet somewhere
and have such a joyous
"getting to know you"
experience that we
became instantaneous
BFF's and had some serious
heart to heart,
that now means every exchange of
glances and hellos is
so extremely meaningful?

I'm sure.

I just feel like
a bad little girl
because I don't know
where this friendship began!

Anyone have a similar

Please share yours!

Happy glorious Friday,
my dear ones!

Love always,
Little Besty


Lookin' Up

"We are all in the gutter,
but some of us
are looking at the stars."
~ Oscar Wilde

I just like to look up.

It makes me feel important.
It makes me feel like I matter.
It makes me feel like we aren't alone in this...
and I have 67 guzillion stars waiting to help me.

I make mistakes.

I find that,
Some days...I end up
tripping unexpectedly
and find myself
laying in the gutter.
I really messed up...
and then I don't know what
on earth I'm gonna do.

But then,
with the tips of my fingers,
I brush the gravel beneath me
in that gutter,
soak up the remaining drips of
water surrounding me,
and look up.

Then I know it's
gonna be okay.

I don't know what it is,
but sparkly things that wink
at me and glimmer in the darkened
night really have an affect on me.

And no.
I don't mean Edward.
{He doesn't sparkle in
the dark anyway-gosh. ;)}

I mean those exploding
balls of starlight that
caress the sky I look to.

I have to have hope.
It's apart of what
has to be done in order
for my spirit to be kept alive.
It's apart of me.

So I look up.
'Cause hope exists there.

And sometimes,
if you're really careful,
you can reach up...
and grab some of that stardust.

But like I said,
be careful.

It's delicate stuff,
ya know.

Let me know how that goes.


When I was little,
I sort of had an obsession
with stars.

I had the books.
I had the pictures.
I had a telescope.
I had the song DOWN.
And I had a backyard
that was always open
for a good "star-gazing".

I pretty much grew up looking
at those stars
every night.

And I have to say,
like already mentioned,
it changed me...
and continues to do so.
{For the reasons already stated}I really believe that.

It'll change you.

Go outside tonight...
and see what lookin' up
does to you.

And get some stardust
while you're at it.

It's always handy to have in
your pocket for those
special occasions.

Love always,
Little Besty


Musings of My All too Complicated Brain

Once upon a time...

my brain was complicated.

I feel like I have 5,040021
million things running through
my mind,
and to just pinpoint one little
area deems to be nearly

But all things are possible...
so I guess I am faced
with defeating the walls of my
own head.

That would be a definite

let's give it a go, eh?


*Heart missing pieces
that can't be replaced.

I can even try to smash new pieces
into the missing shapes,
but they just don't fit...
they don't fit in the same way
and fill up every crook and cranny.

*One of the greatest things
to happen to me is
returning to me
in a matter of weeks.
which leads to a lot of
happiness, anxiety, stress,
worry....and lots of joy. ;)

*This little thumping thing
in my chest keeps freaking out
every time I consider what
I want to do with that degree...
I love children.
I love to teach.
I love SUU...
it's all gotta work out somehow,
even with the upcoming events
and happenings in my future life.

*Of course my thoughts flutter
to that special time in my life
when I'll be holding the hand
of the man I'm about to marry
for time and all eternity.

The moment he'll caress
my cheek with his fingers.

The day he gets down on that knee
and asks the all too
simple, yet powerful,
delicate, and grand question
that will change the course
of my eternity...forever.

I can't help it.
Every girl thinks about it,
and I happen to think about it
all the time.

No worries.

Then there's the "baby hungry" issue.
Don't worry,
I'm not getting prego any time soon.
For heavens sake,
I haven't even got a
"ring on it"!

But every time I see those little faces...
Every time I smell baby lotion...
Every time I go outside and wish
I was taking my little one out for
a wagon ride...

I just wish the day was closer
that it was no longer dreams...
but reality.

Other thoughts in my head?
Scented Letters.
Being prepared.
Making dinner.
Watching chick-flicks.
Getting up in the morning.
Sleeping better.
My future.
Being there for family that I'm not physically
close to at this time-how is that accomplished?
Giving love...
Moving forward.
Dealing with change.

.....just to name a few.

But I'm happy.
Even with my complicated head
and heart of insanity,
I can feel joy running
through my veins and spirit.

For now,
I'll let my buzzing head
just breathe...
and enjoy the time that is
surrounding my present.

Best wishes to you.

Love always,
Little Besty