Little Besty: Musings of My All too Complicated Brain

Once upon a time...

my brain was complicated.

I feel like I have 5,040021
million things running through
my mind,
and to just pinpoint one little
area deems to be nearly
IMPOSSIBLE.

But all things are possible...
so I guess I am faced
with defeating the walls of my
own head.

Hard?
That would be a definite
YEP.

Well....
let's give it a go, eh?

***

*Heart missing pieces
that can't be replaced.

I can even try to smash new pieces
into the missing shapes,
but they just don't fit...
they don't fit in the same way
and fill up every crook and cranny.

*One of the greatest things
to happen to me is
returning to me
in a matter of weeks.
....
which leads to a lot of
happiness, anxiety, stress,
worry....and lots of joy. ;)

*This little thumping thing
in my chest keeps freaking out
every time I consider what
I want to do with that degree...
I love children.
I love to teach.
I love SUU...
it's all gotta work out somehow,
even with the upcoming events
and happenings in my future life.
Right?

*Of course my thoughts flutter
to that special time in my life
when I'll be holding the hand
of the man I'm about to marry
for time and all eternity.

The moment he'll caress
my cheek with his fingers.

The day he gets down on that knee
and asks the all too
simple, yet powerful,
delicate, and grand question
that will change the course
of my eternity...forever.

I can't help it.
Every girl thinks about it,
and I happen to think about it
all the time.

No worries.

Then there's the "baby hungry" issue.
Don't worry,
I'm not getting prego any time soon.
For heavens sake,
I haven't even got a
"ring on it"!

But every time I see those little faces...
Every time I smell baby lotion...
Every time I go outside and wish
I was taking my little one out for
a wagon ride...

I just wish the day was closer
that it was no longer dreams...
but reality.

Other thoughts in my head?
Food.
Meat.
Scented Letters.
Dedication.
Singing.
Being prepared.
Making dinner.
Watching chick-flicks.
Getting up in the morning.
Sleeping better.
My future.
Being there for family that I'm not physically
close to at this time-how is that accomplished?
Giving love...
Moving forward.
Dealing with change.

.....just to name a few.

But I'm happy.
Even with my complicated head
and heart of insanity,
I can feel joy running
through my veins and spirit.