Morning Sickness Blues

 ***{THIS POST WAS WRITTEN ABOUT 3-4 WEEKS AGO.

ALLY IS NOW MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER! HOORAY!}

Oh, the woes of morning sickness. 

Bleh. 

Once upon a time, Ally was sick. Always. Like barfing, real baggy pj's, only eats creamies and mac and cheese and saltines, sweaty gross always. As I've talked with others who dealt with morning sickness, I've concluded that it's just not the greatest and a phase you just gotta stick out. And of course, I've also collected from myself 100% and the morning sick club that it's TOTALLY worth it. 

Somedays, though? Are hard. 

My morning sickness came by total surprise. I wasn't expecting to get real sick at all because my mom was never sick during her pregnancies, and my sister only had a cold for the first few months of her pregnancy...so I wasn't even expecting...the "other" side, ha ha. 

About 4 weeks in I started feeling sort of gross, but nothing unusual. Then the day of death happened. I don't know what came over me, but I started throwing up in the night and probably threw up 20 times in a couple hours. If I stood up, I would throw up. It got to the point where I would drink something real fast before I threw up so there was something to it...I know. Gross and too much detail. But truth. Truth. 

I had a real bad flu. I was confined to the couch for...always. Eventually after a few days, I got feeling better, but I was still having the occasional throw up. Then it was more of a "consistent" occasional throw up every day. Then I knew. 

Morning sickness. 

There's only so much you can do if you have morning sickness. You can get everyone's different "tricks" and such, but in the end, everyone is different. Some people get real relief from tortilla chips, while others get it from vitamin B6 and half of a Unisom. For me, saltines, creamies, mac and cheese, and other random things seems to calm my stomach. My nausea medication helps too. But I'm never really 100%. As much as I want to be for me and everyone. 

Some days, I can't even leave the bed. I get up for the bathroom and throwing up, but other than that....movies and Hulu have become my best friends. :) It's been hard to keep myself from feeling sorry for myself. I feel guilty just lying around...but there really is nothing else I can do. I really wish I could be more helpful to Chad like I used to...but generally speaking, I just gotta lay down and take it easy. And Chad...Chad is such a gem through all of this. He will be getting his own post just because he's THAT over the top, incredibly amazing. He is the top notch husband when it comes to morning sickness needs. :) More on the hubs later. 

Back to feeling sorry for myself. ;) There really isn't a lot anyone can do either. I'll have so many people ask to help...but in the end...it's just a time to get through and endure and hope it ends soon. But I am so grateful for all the offerings of love and advice. :) I am truly blessed to have so many that care about me. My VT's have been AMAZING. Since cooking is sort of out of the question for now because it  makes me gag and throw up, my VT's have been bringing Chad dinner 2 nights a week. STELLAR.That is real visiting teachers right there!

I have so many people helping me out. Blessings from Chad, caring nurses at the doctor's office, encouragement from family and friends, a mommy's healing hand, and so much more. It really does help knowing that though this can't really be "cured", I got a big fan club giving me tons of support. 

It's only a few more weeks till I'll be seeing "2nd trimester" skies and, baby? I am READY for that! I look forward to feeling better and I can feel my body starting to look up and feel better. :)

Loves, 

ABJ

Somedays...

 

Somedays....other days are better than others. Sometimes you just need to get away and have a few moments of detachment. Ya know, where you just gotta take a walk, feel the sun rays on your face....watch the gentle breeze tussle your hair...and everything just melts away. 

I remember who I am. I remember the goodness in the world and my troubles fall into the background and fade just for a moment. This is my bliss. 

Spring is here. And I am so glad and welcome it with open arms. I needed you, Spring. Thank you for lifting me up today and reminding me that all this is wonderful. 

Somedays...you gotta wander to find the path once again. 

-ABJ

The Wee One

I wrote this post about a month ago, but couldn't post it due to "not telling nobody" yet business. :) Hope you all enjoy!

I've decided it's about time I start keeping record of my pregnancy. 

Yes, I can't actually PUBLISH these posts yet, 

but I want some live-action posts.

Posts where I am actually feeling what I'm saying, and not looking back.

So! Today, I will tell the story of how we came to discover our little wee one. :)

So...

Above anything and everything, our wee one came as a HUMUNGUSAL surprise. Chad and I definitely didn't have, "pregnant by 5 months after marriage" in the blueprints. We were thinking, maybe start thinking about it after a year, but for sure not before that. But! If we have learned anything from this process, it has been that Heavenly Father has plans for us high above our own that will get us to where we need to, even if they aren't what we see fit for ourselves. Our marriage is founded on Our Father in heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and without a doubt, we know that their hands are ever guiding our lives. So, pregnant at month 5? Okay. :) {Eyelid twitch}. Okay {Solid eyelid blink}. We trust in you and know this will work out!

To make the story pretty short and sweet, since we were married, I had been on birth control and dealing with some side effects that weren't working for me. A few months ago it came time to try a different option so I could still feel like myself and Chad could have a normal wife. We really prayed about it together as a couple and we knew that this was the right and best option for me and we needed to take a different route. Little did we know what changing our course would result in....

In the transitions of things, I started feeling kinda funny. Not physically funny, but just...different. It wasn't possible...but maybe, just maybe...I was pregnant. What? No way! How could that even be possible? I mentioned this to Chad and he just thought I was crazy. But I just had this weird hunch...

Well, a missed period and a few pregnancy tests later, I found out: Ally = pregnant. :)I was jumping up and down and screaming and allof that. My poor Chad...I showed him the test, and he about fainted. I found him later that night sitting in the bed, blank faced and starring at the wall like he had just found out a bomb was gonna hit the world in 24 hours. Don't get me wrong, Chad is SOOOOO excited for our new little wee one, but the first reaction of any unexpected Daddy is gonna be, "uh....we are poor as dirt. We barely eat ourselves. How the heck am I gonna provide for my wife, me, AND a new baby?!". So I didn't judge him for a second! 

After a few days, Chad was doing a lot better. :) After some chats, we knew we were gonna be able to make it work and that Heavenly Father was providing a way for us. Now, soon to be Daddy is doing well and talking about things he can't wait to do as a Dad. :)

I had my freak out moment too, of course. The next day, in fact. I was in the shower and suddenly really felt the weight of the actually reality that a BABY. An actual little, full of life baby was growing inside of me and coming soon. That's a lot to handle! Having been there for every step of the way of my sister's pregnancy and last few months of seeing my nephew grow, I realized the FULL responsibility that came with a baby. Not gonna lie. I cried a bit. 

But then I went to the temple. And everything made sense. And I KNEW this baby was supposed to come now, and for so many reasons that Chad and I are only beginning to understand. If you are seeking clarity on any subject, go to the temple. I promise you, you will find the peace you seek. :) With the support we have both found in the walls of the temple, Chad and I have been able to move forward with a positive outlook and know this is 100% right for us right now in our lives.

Despite the first few days of scaredness...I am SO EXCITED. If you know me, since I was birthed myself I have been all about being a mommy someday to my children. My daddy said to me today, "this is what you have wanted to do your whole life more than anything in the world..". :) You got it, Dad. When my baby brother was born, I was all over that kid. I wanted to change his diapers, feed him, hold him, snuggle with him, sing him to sleep....you name it. I've just always had that desire within me to care for little children.

 If you asked what my passion was in life...people may suppose that "music" would be my answer. Though it is one of those things close to my heart...it would not be #1. Family is it, folks. The gospel, intertwined with my current family and family of my own with Chad, and our wee one. If I had to, I could survive without music. {GASP!} It would be SUPER tough, but I could go on living. But without my extended family, and Chad and wee one? No. Not even possible.

Bottom-line, we are all very excited for our little adventure to begin! We have wonderful support from all areas and are very thankful for that. This baby is already super loved! We are so very blessed and can't wait till our wee one arrives. Here's to counting down the days! Happy Day!

May the joys of pregnancy begin!