A year ago
+1 hour from now,
+1 hour from now,
my beautiful baby girl was born
into this world.
I remember the anticipation
as the nurse told me that in about 1/2 an hour
I would start pushing.
Could the moment be so close?
Would I actually really be a mommy?
Or was this all a dream?
Had the last 9 months of feeling
my baby grow all been a
pigment of my imagination?
I was going to be holding
MY
precious baby girl in just a matter of minutes.
Heavenly Father
knew then that mommy and daughter
could no longer be separated.
It was time.
Time to be a mother.
Ahhhh....
Now that's better, huh,
sweet girl?
Together at last. :)
I know every mother in the universe says this, but:
It goes so fast.
So fast.
I just can't believe it.
2 days ago, I took some 1 year photos of Charlotte.
It was pretty hectic getting everything ready for the pictures
and I'll admit I was a bit stressed when I went inside to go get
my baby girl.
However...
Charlotte & I
are best friends,
right?
So, she gets me.
She knows when Mommy
is stressed and needs some help and love.
Well,
I went in and picked up my baby girl,
set her down...
....and, she smiled.
She just had a pleasant look on her face
and said to me with her eyes,
"I love you, Mommy.
And that's all that matters right now."
I took a deep breath,
and told her I loved her, too.
And that she was right-
OF COURSE.
Despite the stupido cat (long story, don't ask)
that kept intervening in my photo shoot,
I had a great time capturing all the things I love about
Charlotte.
Let's be honest, though.
What's not to love?
If you've met my baby girl,
you know that she's just so open
to spreadin' the love.
She just smiles and is happy
and will have you over to hang out
anytime.
(If she could ask you :))
She just brings joy to your heart.
And that's all there is to it.
Can I share a few photos with you? :):):)
{Caution!!: You may die from the melting of your heart
from viewing these photos.}
She kills me. :')
For Charlotte's little family party tonight,
my hubbie made a video compiling of a bunch
of snippets of videos we've taken of Charlotte in the last year
and set it to the most adorable songs ever.
He showed it to me last night and I was
BAWLING.
I tried to keep myself under control for Chad,
ha ha,
but had I been alone?
Don't even want to know.
I would have flooded the living room!
Here's the deal here, kids.
Motherhood is one of those words
that's filled with so many things...
that little word just can't express all of it.
Period.
I am truly a changed person because of Charlotte.
I held her in my arms for the first time
and my whole soul said,
"Oh. Why did ANYTHING else matter before this?"
Am I right?
The important things suddenly all fell into place.
I've been reminded of that with every little smile
and giggle that girl has given me this past year.
Not every day has been great.
Honestly.
There's been days where I've laid her down in her crib,
burst into tears and said, out loud,
"PLEASE, make her stop crying!
I don't know what to do anymore
and I'm so exhausted."
Or how about days where your body aches so much
and you're sleep deprived from a teething baby
and you have got to get out of the house
and buy some food because all you ate for lunch
was saltines and beans because you couldn't get
enough energy to go before now?
Maybe it's that you know you and your hubbie
NEED a night out,
but you can't leave because the baby's sleeping
so....
Netflix it is?
:)
I could go on and on about the hard days,
but fact of the matter is...
It don't matter.
It all melts away when I go in to look at
my precious sleeping Charlotte
and look at her peaceful figure
and just feel so much love for her I could die.
When she looks up at me when she wakes up
and looks so excited to see me.
When she learns to pull herself up with Mommy's help
and smiles because she's so proud of herself.
When she snuggles up to me because I'm her comfort
when she doesn't feel well.
When I make her laugh.
When she eats so well
and looks so content.
When she gives me kisses.
And the fact of the matter is,
no matter how hard motherhood is?
I would live those hard days over and over
because my baby girl is in them.
I would do it all over again for her.
She is my angel.
My beautiful spirit trying to help her
mother out to feel joy in her life
and see the good things...
and the things that matter most.
-------
Charlotte?
Your mommy loves you.
But you probably already know that. ;)
This past year has been a whirlwind,
but a beautiful one at that.
Sometimes I lay awake at night and think,
"Gee. I am the luckiest girl in the world
to have my little Charlotte for my precious girl."
You are my best pal.
My forever friend.
I always sing my heart when I'm with you.
You get me.
You understand me.
We were meant to be together, ya know.
Every minute with you has been so dear to me
and I will forever cherish all the time
I spend with you.
My darling girl,
THANK YOU.
Thank you,
for you.
You are a gift.
A precious gift
that I was so graciously given.
Never forget the light you bring to others.
The joy that comes to others faces when they walk
in the room and discover you are there.
Your smile brings comfort and stability.
It lifts those who are sad and raises spirits.
You are so easy to forgive others
and love every bit of life you can get your hands on.
Never forget how much your Mommy & Daddy
love you, baby girl.
Happy 1st Birthday,
my little love.
Life is so much sweeter with you in it.
I love you!!!
Loves, Mommy xoxoxo
---
"She leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes."
