Happy Birthday...6 months ago!

6 months ago, I turned 21. 

Wahoo!!!! 

May we excuse my lateness in posting, but pretty great I made it by my 1/2 birthday, right? :)

Standing ovation for Ally!

I had a lovely birthday. My 1st as a married lady! And not to mention the big 21! {Not that much happens at 21. The coolest part is I had to get a new license anyway for my name change, so I got one that's sideways instead of straight up! Chad thought this was insanely fantastic. ;)}. I'm heading into my 20's full force. Watch out, peeps. Watch out. 

I can't quite remember the entire schedule of that day now,  6 months later, but I know the general gist. :) I got up bright and early for school and felt COMPLETELY different. Like, "wow, I'm 21!".......haha, sense my sarcasm? I felt super cool though because, um, it's my birthday?! And, mind you, the first one since Chad had been home from his mission! So it was a big deal. He missed 3 all together in the time is was gone, so he owed me BIG TIME. 

Here's the birthday girl in her outfit after school. :) All clothing picked out by my hubbie on our honeymoon. Good taste, right?!

 

My mommy and seester came to school and picked me up to take me to my birthday lunch at Panda! Mmmmmm...I love Panda. Seriously. Ever want to treat me, just for fun? Take me there! It's never Chad's first choice if we get to eat out, so I consider myself lucky any time I get to go. It was soooo nice to sit and chat with my girls since I didn't seem them as often during that time. They're the best!

That afternoon I came home to all this!

Please notice the flowers in an pitcher since we don't have a vase, haha.

 Ah...what a sweetheart. Chad's gifts to me are always so thoughtful. With a wee little budget like ours, it can sometimes be difficult to figure out gifts for each other, but we have so much fun creating things and thinking of things we can get. One day I'll get you an IPad or something crazy like that for you, hunny! 

I was pleased to see a gift card to PANDA! (where I had just eaten lunch!), and some lovely flowers, complete with a circle of glow sticks, ha ha. :) I loved every bit of everything he got and did for me. He's such a sweetie, really, and I am so lucky to have him. 

That evening we went to the temple. That's what I told Chad I wanted to do out of anything so that's what we did! Ah. There's nothing like doing sealings with your hubbie on your birthday. :) Afterwards, thanks to the generous family and friends from our wedding, we took an Olive Garden giftcard we received and went to dinner together! Thank you SO MUCH for the gift! We felt super special getting to go somewhere as nice as that on my special day. 

Kissy kissy!

I don't think I've EVER gotten dessert at Olive Garden. The Italian Donuts were taaaasty!

It was a lovely birthday! Crazy to think that next birthday I'll have a little wee 1 month old in my arms. :) Ah!

Chad had this special little cake for me. :)

Happy Happy Birth-day. :)

Happy Life {Long post, warning ;)}

It's been a couple weeks!

Things are going really well. :)

      There's always the ups and downs of every day and week, but I must say, Chad and I can't complain much. I'm feeling sooooo much better in my pregnancy, baby is moving, Chad is almost done with this semester of school, we found out the gender of our sweet, wee one at the end of this month, I'm getting ready to leave to China, my bro and sis-in-law are adopting a baby this month, CONFERENCE weekend!, and lots of family love. I mean, really? Life is so good. 

      Regarding pregnancy, like I said-I am doing LOTS better. No more throwing up! Just some dry heaving type thing in the morning that probably doesn't need to be explained in detail to the public, ha ha. I still get exhausted and worn down quickly, but overall, HAPPY PREGO LADY. And the biggest new news of all is I've felt baby move! Nothing serious like kicking or any of that jazz, just some little flutters and churning. It's so sweet. The movement that I feel usually happens in the morning when I first get up and am chillin' in bed, but one of the times I was lounging on the couch at my Mama's house, chattin' it up with my Mom and sister and out of no where! Wow! It was way cool. :)

      I am SOOOO excited for the school year to be over for my darling! Since we have been married in August, we have had absolutely NO getaway time for us. It's been move move move since the day we got back from our honeymoon. Date/Temple nights have been our saving grace, and we're just excited to get a lot more free time this summer before baby comes to hang out and take some fun trips together. Seriously? Couples are totally happier when they spend more time together. FACT. I will be gone the first 2 1/2 weeks of his freedom in China....but once I get back we will start to party!

       I don't think I've mentioned it on my blog yet, but ya! I'm going to China at the end of this month! Never did I think, in a million years, that I would get to go to China in my lifetime. But, the opportunity has presented itself to me and I am taking it. I'm in the Chamber Choir at UVU and that's where we are going on tour this year! We will be traveling around, singing at universities and such and enjoying the beautiful setting of China. I am so thrilled. I asked my doctor about what he thought about me going and he gave me the BIG thumbs up! He said it would be the best possible thing for me to do during that time of my pregnancy. Sweet, doc! I'll take your advice. :)

    I am slightly nervous about being gone that long while pregnant, but I have some great friends in the choir and I know I'll be looked after and taken care of my the amazing people involved. AND I WILL MISS CHAD LIKE CRAZY! But at least I get to look forward to a trip just for us a few weeks following my return. :) Good luck to my sweetheart for taking care of himself for those weeks without me! (He'll be JUST fine, I promise). 

     How exciting will it be to say "her/him" when referring to baby at this end of this month?! It's only so thrilling to say "it". How impersonal when we love our baby so much! Ha ha, it'll be nice to finally start making things and buying items fit for the gender of our baby and to finally know if a cute little boy or sweet little girl is growing inside me. :) Hooray for finally being far enough along to know!

     My brother and sister-in-law have been hoping to adopt for quite some time now. There has been a lot of heartache, tears, and happy hopes during this process for everyone, and we are so looking forward to a start of a new adventure for my brother and his wife. I will post more as we get closer and new baby arrives, but I just needed to put out there my deep love for Christopher and Julianne for their diligence and faith during this journey. :)

       Conference was ABSOLUTELY wonderful, as always and of course, as always, exactly what I needed and I received guidance and comfort in everything I desired. I'll have another post dedicated to conference for sure, but just had to put my 2 cents in on how fantastic this past weekend was!

         Family love. Ah. We had such a splendid weekend. We started off the weekend right with an evening filled with time with my hubby. I haven't laughed that much in a day in a long time. I was reminded of how much I love my husband and how he really is my best friend. I seriously would not survive this world without him. We ran some errands and then made our way to Sandy for his mission reunion! These are always so fun for us. This is our second one since he's been home and must I say-I enjoy being with all those humans so very much. That evening we stayed at my parents house and enjoyed some time with my family till we went to sleep. Then conference!, girls night out, sleep over at Chad's parents, conference!, dinner and celebrating Tiff's birthday, then time with hubby. 

I'll probably expand the last paragraph in another post, he he. Lots to write about!

It's so great to be here on this earth. The Johnson party of 2 1/2 ;) are blessed beyond measure and can't get enough of this amazing life. Keep ya posted!

Loves, 

ABJ

Morning Sickness Blues

 ***{THIS POST WAS WRITTEN ABOUT 3-4 WEEKS AGO.

ALLY IS NOW MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER! HOORAY!}

Oh, the woes of morning sickness. 

Bleh. 

Once upon a time, Ally was sick. Always. Like barfing, real baggy pj's, only eats creamies and mac and cheese and saltines, sweaty gross always. As I've talked with others who dealt with morning sickness, I've concluded that it's just not the greatest and a phase you just gotta stick out. And of course, I've also collected from myself 100% and the morning sick club that it's TOTALLY worth it. 

Somedays, though? Are hard. 

My morning sickness came by total surprise. I wasn't expecting to get real sick at all because my mom was never sick during her pregnancies, and my sister only had a cold for the first few months of her pregnancy...so I wasn't even expecting...the "other" side, ha ha. 

About 4 weeks in I started feeling sort of gross, but nothing unusual. Then the day of death happened. I don't know what came over me, but I started throwing up in the night and probably threw up 20 times in a couple hours. If I stood up, I would throw up. It got to the point where I would drink something real fast before I threw up so there was something to it...I know. Gross and too much detail. But truth. Truth. 

I had a real bad flu. I was confined to the couch for...always. Eventually after a few days, I got feeling better, but I was still having the occasional throw up. Then it was more of a "consistent" occasional throw up every day. Then I knew. 

Morning sickness. 

There's only so much you can do if you have morning sickness. You can get everyone's different "tricks" and such, but in the end, everyone is different. Some people get real relief from tortilla chips, while others get it from vitamin B6 and half of a Unisom. For me, saltines, creamies, mac and cheese, and other random things seems to calm my stomach. My nausea medication helps too. But I'm never really 100%. As much as I want to be for me and everyone. 

Some days, I can't even leave the bed. I get up for the bathroom and throwing up, but other than that....movies and Hulu have become my best friends. :) It's been hard to keep myself from feeling sorry for myself. I feel guilty just lying around...but there really is nothing else I can do. I really wish I could be more helpful to Chad like I used to...but generally speaking, I just gotta lay down and take it easy. And Chad...Chad is such a gem through all of this. He will be getting his own post just because he's THAT over the top, incredibly amazing. He is the top notch husband when it comes to morning sickness needs. :) More on the hubs later. 

Back to feeling sorry for myself. ;) There really isn't a lot anyone can do either. I'll have so many people ask to help...but in the end...it's just a time to get through and endure and hope it ends soon. But I am so grateful for all the offerings of love and advice. :) I am truly blessed to have so many that care about me. My VT's have been AMAZING. Since cooking is sort of out of the question for now because it  makes me gag and throw up, my VT's have been bringing Chad dinner 2 nights a week. STELLAR.That is real visiting teachers right there!

I have so many people helping me out. Blessings from Chad, caring nurses at the doctor's office, encouragement from family and friends, a mommy's healing hand, and so much more. It really does help knowing that though this can't really be "cured", I got a big fan club giving me tons of support. 

It's only a few more weeks till I'll be seeing "2nd trimester" skies and, baby? I am READY for that! I look forward to feeling better and I can feel my body starting to look up and feel better. :)

Loves, 

ABJ

Somedays...

 

Somedays....other days are better than others. Sometimes you just need to get away and have a few moments of detachment. Ya know, where you just gotta take a walk, feel the sun rays on your face....watch the gentle breeze tussle your hair...and everything just melts away. 

I remember who I am. I remember the goodness in the world and my troubles fall into the background and fade just for a moment. This is my bliss. 

Spring is here. And I am so glad and welcome it with open arms. I needed you, Spring. Thank you for lifting me up today and reminding me that all this is wonderful. 

Somedays...you gotta wander to find the path once again. 

-ABJ

The Wee One

I wrote this post about a month ago, but couldn't post it due to "not telling nobody" yet business. :) Hope you all enjoy!

I've decided it's about time I start keeping record of my pregnancy. 

Yes, I can't actually PUBLISH these posts yet, 

but I want some live-action posts.

Posts where I am actually feeling what I'm saying, and not looking back.

So! Today, I will tell the story of how we came to discover our little wee one. :)

So...

Above anything and everything, our wee one came as a HUMUNGUSAL surprise. Chad and I definitely didn't have, "pregnant by 5 months after marriage" in the blueprints. We were thinking, maybe start thinking about it after a year, but for sure not before that. But! If we have learned anything from this process, it has been that Heavenly Father has plans for us high above our own that will get us to where we need to, even if they aren't what we see fit for ourselves. Our marriage is founded on Our Father in heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and without a doubt, we know that their hands are ever guiding our lives. So, pregnant at month 5? Okay. :) {Eyelid twitch}. Okay {Solid eyelid blink}. We trust in you and know this will work out!

To make the story pretty short and sweet, since we were married, I had been on birth control and dealing with some side effects that weren't working for me. A few months ago it came time to try a different option so I could still feel like myself and Chad could have a normal wife. We really prayed about it together as a couple and we knew that this was the right and best option for me and we needed to take a different route. Little did we know what changing our course would result in....

In the transitions of things, I started feeling kinda funny. Not physically funny, but just...different. It wasn't possible...but maybe, just maybe...I was pregnant. What? No way! How could that even be possible? I mentioned this to Chad and he just thought I was crazy. But I just had this weird hunch...

Well, a missed period and a few pregnancy tests later, I found out: Ally = pregnant. :)I was jumping up and down and screaming and allof that. My poor Chad...I showed him the test, and he about fainted. I found him later that night sitting in the bed, blank faced and starring at the wall like he had just found out a bomb was gonna hit the world in 24 hours. Don't get me wrong, Chad is SOOOOO excited for our new little wee one, but the first reaction of any unexpected Daddy is gonna be, "uh....we are poor as dirt. We barely eat ourselves. How the heck am I gonna provide for my wife, me, AND a new baby?!". So I didn't judge him for a second! 

After a few days, Chad was doing a lot better. :) After some chats, we knew we were gonna be able to make it work and that Heavenly Father was providing a way for us. Now, soon to be Daddy is doing well and talking about things he can't wait to do as a Dad. :)

I had my freak out moment too, of course. The next day, in fact. I was in the shower and suddenly really felt the weight of the actually reality that a BABY. An actual little, full of life baby was growing inside of me and coming soon. That's a lot to handle! Having been there for every step of the way of my sister's pregnancy and last few months of seeing my nephew grow, I realized the FULL responsibility that came with a baby. Not gonna lie. I cried a bit. 

But then I went to the temple. And everything made sense. And I KNEW this baby was supposed to come now, and for so many reasons that Chad and I are only beginning to understand. If you are seeking clarity on any subject, go to the temple. I promise you, you will find the peace you seek. :) With the support we have both found in the walls of the temple, Chad and I have been able to move forward with a positive outlook and know this is 100% right for us right now in our lives.

Despite the first few days of scaredness...I am SO EXCITED. If you know me, since I was birthed myself I have been all about being a mommy someday to my children. My daddy said to me today, "this is what you have wanted to do your whole life more than anything in the world..". :) You got it, Dad. When my baby brother was born, I was all over that kid. I wanted to change his diapers, feed him, hold him, snuggle with him, sing him to sleep....you name it. I've just always had that desire within me to care for little children.

 If you asked what my passion was in life...people may suppose that "music" would be my answer. Though it is one of those things close to my heart...it would not be #1. Family is it, folks. The gospel, intertwined with my current family and family of my own with Chad, and our wee one. If I had to, I could survive without music. {GASP!} It would be SUPER tough, but I could go on living. But without my extended family, and Chad and wee one? No. Not even possible.

Bottom-line, we are all very excited for our little adventure to begin! We have wonderful support from all areas and are very thankful for that. This baby is already super loved! We are so very blessed and can't wait till our wee one arrives. Here's to counting down the days! Happy Day!

May the joys of pregnancy begin!

Collect Moments

There's always the biggest challenge when it comes to actually writing on this page.
I could write so many different things...so what do I choose?

Couldn't really tell ya how that happens. But somehow, it does.

I've realized some things lately. "Re"-realized. One important theme in my life keeps re-occurring, and that is this:

I used to collect porcelain dolls when I was little. I ADORED those dolls. They were on display in my bedroom on top of my dresser. My Grandpa Lynn would give me one every Christmas, and my neighbor would give me one every now and then as well. My mom got me some too. They were really special to me, and still are. I would dust off their perfect dresses and teach them "lady lessons" in "school". They all had beautiful curls adorning their faces. 

As much as I love 'em, they now are carefully put away till my daughters can enjoy them. They had their place in my life, but for now, they have left me. I had some good times with them. But overall? The times I loved those dolls weren't when I had so many, but with the memories that came with them. One of the moment I remember crying to my dolls because I felt like they were my only friends. Another moment I remember embracing certain dolls and gently touching their bouncy curls. The moments are what makes those dolls so special.

I look back on my life, and even at the now, and I realize that it's moments that make my life so precious and perfect. It's not the new this or that I got. It's the moments in the day. It was yesterday when I laid down in bed and Chad came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and whispered that he loved me. It was when he read me his journal entry of 5 reasons why he loved me today. It's when we made jokes. It's when he stopped me and just held me and my face.


I remember the moment I said goodbye to the stage at AF High. I sat on the edge of the stage, all alone, and said farewell to that chapter of my life. I remember the moment I knew I was saying goodbye to some people for the last time. Yes, they were hard, but they were meaningful and full of life.

 

Moments like this. Not posed. Just a moment where we realized, "Freak. We're engaged. And I have a ring on my finger". And Chad: "Dude, I just PUT THAT on her finger!". :)

I'll never forget this second!

Brooklyn Ally love.

Senior girlies all together for last time.

Love of family

Look at Matthew's face. :)

No words for this one.

None of us are gonna forget these simply, probably 10 second moments of our lives. 

So, there's your proof. What moments have stuck with you? Make a collection. For those are what will stay with you, always. 

Ally Jo

The Long Post that just needed to be done

Ah. Finally.

A day on the blog.

It feels so good to be writing once again!

The breaks between my posts are sometimes quite long, but they all happen when they do for a reason! I feel very blessed for the little blessings that come with even writing a simple sentence. Being able to move my fingers...having an active mind...being able to have eyes that see...being able to read...having thoughts...having an brain that works...being able to sit up...all of it it wonderful! So there's my schpill on just being ABLE to write.

I have had SOOOOO many huge, amazing, beautiful, crazy things happen in my life in the last while! Some of them may not seem huge to others, but they are to me.  And some of them are things that are happening to all of you! All I can say? Chad and I are so blessed to have friends and family so close to us and that we love ever so much. I'm happy to be a new addition to the Johnson Family, and that Chad is officially apart of the Best Clan as well. We both have brilliant,  phenomenal friends and we count ourselves lucky to have grown up where we did. Chad and I both agree that we had THE greatest friends in high school-the type that will never go away. How blessed we are!

There is so much love in my heart right now. I could just burst! Love for my sweet, dear husband, love for my family, love for the gospel that gives me such hope, love of the scriptures, love of a nice, warm bed, love of music, love of passion, love of the future. I consider myself one lucky chick. :)

Sometimes I have out of body experiences....ha ha, Chad calls me crazy when I try and explain them. Mostly, he just lifts his eyebrow and says, "Yes, Hunny". :) But bless his heart, I do! I remember specific moments in time where the whole world seems to fall away, and the veil gets very thin...and I literally feel that I have been placed on this earth...to be tried and tested. My body seems to leave me and it's just my spirit, and I remember why I choose to come here. It keeps my spirit in check. :)

After having some discussions with my hubbie and family in my past, I realize that little and big things played such a role in my childhood that now drastically effect who I am now. For instance, some of you who know me really well, or maybe not even at all, may notice I have moments where I am very quite and step back. This is what I call my "shy" self. I'm not extremely outspoken generally. But there are definitely flashes where I WILL put in my 2 bits...'nough said. ;)

I know that I'm kinda quite sometimes. In certain surroundings, I definitely turn inward. And truthfully? I have some anxiety. There are some situations where my mind and self literally hurt from the pain of not being able to make my mouth move and talk. Let's be honest. Sometimes? I'm so super socially awkward. I have so much to say...but I guess I get afraid or something. I believe it's probably from times of people not listen to me or ignoring what I said. It happens. When I was young, I would sometimes be afraid to talk.

When I got discouraged from being this way when I was little, know what my haven was? Time with my dearest family where I was always myself, and time with Ben, Brad, Holly, Spenc, and William. They were my escape. I could break free from my insecurity as a kid and be myself, plus anything I wanted to be with them. All my dreams of running around the trees like a squirrel were fulfilled when we would play animals. I felt like a shining star when we would make up musicals on the street and would create music videos. I could go anywhere I created...and bring my friends with me. I read Harry Potter and felt like I was apart of the wizarding world and that I was accepted there and they liked me. Neville would have been my best friend. All of them would have been.

My other joys came from, like mentioned above, time with my family. Family vacations were wondrous for me. Traveling to the ocean and feeling the waves on my feet was magical. Seeing glaciers on majestic mountains in Montana thrilled me. Wearing a bright pink hoodie while camping with my siblings was lovely. Yes, us siblings definitely had ups and downs, but mostly...I just felt love. My mom and dad would come in at night and sing me songs to put me to sleep. And to this day they are some of my most favoritist voices in the world for this reason. They brought peace to my troubled heart.

I was pretty shy in seasons of my life. When I switched schools....when I had to make new friends....when I switched wards. But let me say this. All in all, the right people have come in and out of my life for a reason. They did something that made the ticks tock in my little mind. Eventually, certain people brought out the best in me. :) And suddenly... I saw more of who I was.

I definitely have my moments where I am SUPER crazy and outgoing, and certain people bring that out in me. These are my angels. Because they help me see what's really underneath and inside. I actually LOVE to laugh super super hard-especially with family and my dearest husband.

I know my thoughts are everywhere, but this post is more for myself. Sometimes, you just gotta write and write and write....

With all the craziness and static of fighting against my anxiety in my past and what creeps up today, I am still so super happy with me. Just me. I sat one day and really thought about something that changed my way of thinking. Heavenly Father's view of me. Guess what? Being a quite person isn't BAD. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. For some reason, I got that idea in my head that it was when I was little. Being quite is just a personality trait. Not a mistake. Not something that has to change about you.

Being crazy is great. Being happy and outgoing isn't bad. And being someone who is both quite and outgoing, depending on the moment/situation is not BAD. There isn't a book, or site, or manual ANYWHERE that says that being both is bad. It doesn't exist. Really.

So, I am happy to be a mixture of colors. A mixture of up and down, light and heavy, pale and dark, swirly and straight, left and right, rain and sun.

I love me.

Sometimes, I feel either at school or other places people don't see me for who I really am. They don't see the big picture like I know others in my life do. There's so much more to me then what I think some people see of me. I'm sure we've all felt that way in some part of our life. And really? That makes me kinda sad.

But honestly?

The ones who matter most and are my rocks DO know. They see everything. Even the ugly. ;) I have come to realize that the ones who you care about the most and care about you the most right back are the ones who have taken the time to see the picture. See my picture...and their picture...and why our pictures have decided to take a same stroke of paint.

Yes, I may be small. I may be quite. I may laugh funny. I may run weird. I may not like scrambled eggs very much. I may not live a perfect life.

But I am fierce. I am special. I am unique. I am smart. I am important. I am loved. I love.

Life is good. Oh, so good. So why would I waste my time trying to be somebody else? :)

I'll stick with being me.

And I might as well add some pictures that made me smile today. ;)

When we were wee ones!

The Love of my Life

Love always.
Ally Jo